New pieces out!

I hope that all of you are having a fabulous New Year's Eve. I just woke up from my disco nap to an email announcing that one of my essays is up at Hippocampus Magazine. You may read my essay, "Learning to Swim," here. Excitement!

Also, the latest issue of Fourteen Hills is out and I have a poem, "When a Backyard Party Is Winding Down," in it. This is a print journal available for purchase here (if you're into it). Yay!

This is starting my new year off right. Now, I need to get off my terrible-TV-show-watching butt and write more! Be safe and be adventurous this New Year's Eve.

Also! My cousins, the Cupcake Fairies (who were recently featured on Cupcake Wars!), got a write-up in the local paper here. Yay for people following their dreams!

Grown-Up Summer Camp

Just imagine vacationing somewhere out in the country, where it's neither too hot nor too cold, and the hills are alive with refreshing breezes and many tall, wide trees. No mosquitoes bite; no scary animals prowl there. A pond sits nearby, calm with clear water that doesn't get too deep. The vacation resort is airy and full of light.

The resort is a grown-up summer camp. At this camp, we learn how to knit, crochet, weave, sew, make ice cream, do watercolors and pastel drawing, make tables and bookcases, sculpt cups and dishes out of clay, bake popovers and all sorts of fanciful things, eat one new food each day (that we learn multiple ways of preparing!), swim slowly, ride bicycles, write, nap, make music, and do all sorts of delightful things. There are no challenges, no games, no scores. We just do and make things at our own pace, talking, laughing, having fun.

I want to make this grown-up summer camp happen. It's like a combination of a Jane Austen-style lady's education, traditional summer camp, and community college, with a dash of the time-share about it. If this place exists in real life, please direct me to it. I will start saving my pennies immediately!

New Year's Goals

For the past couple of years, my friend M. and I sit together, review our year of successes and not-quites, and compose our list of goals for the coming year. I'm going to jump the gun this year and start a list here. (I know I'll add more when I sit down with her. Besides, making a list with a person who checks in with me on my progress makes me apply myself to my goals more.)

When I was a teenager and a college student, all my goals had to do with changing myself: talk less, be nicer, and so on. Those didn't work. They weren't quantifiable and they just made me feel bad about myself. As an adult, my goals are all about doing or learning quantifiable things that enrich myself, rather than cut parts of myself away.

Here we go! In 2012, I will...

• Improve my Spanish so that I'm able to answer someone quickly without having to search for the words in my brain. (This goal carries over from last year; I didn't take the time to practice, but I did work on listening. I understand written and spoken Spanish pretty well, but the responding to people does not go so well.)
• Finish the poetry book manuscript. The poems do not have to be in their final, fully revised form, but they need to exist. I believe I need about 30 more poems. (I have come to realize that I cannot write in my apartment because I will get up and sweep, do laundry, wash dishes, or do anything that I consider pressing, or more pressing than expressing myself. I do not understand why I do not prioritize expressing myself the way I used to. This is something I need to investigate. In the meantime, I will be visiting coffeehouses and park benches more.) 
• Submit to more print journals. I've already started this. One day, jubilat will accept one of my pieces. One day!
• Dance more. As I've said before, dancing makes me happy.
• Finally figure out how to thread and use the damn sewing machine. I will do this, even if I need to pay for lessons.

I think that's a manageable number of goals. They will add to my personal satisfaction and some of them will help me in my career. There are other things I want, too, but I will not list them as actual goals, since I don't know if I can get them done.

List of Non-Goals/Actual Wishes

• Join a workshopping/writing group, or start one myself. I am so much more productive when I have accountability to anyone other than myself.
• Lose that last bit of weight. Since I'm limited in the exercise I can do right now and food tastes so good, I don't know if it'll happen this year, but I'll try.
• Travel more. I need to save money so I can leave this continent. I have a passport--I need to use it! I want to go to Turkey or Spain (even though I hear they're racist against black people in Spain), but anywhere is fine. Every country has something to offer (unless war or severe oppression of women is happening there, in which case I do not want to go to there). I am also partial to any Latin American country that is not currently experiencing political upheaval/slave trafficking/drug trafficking. This stupid economy is not helping me with this goal. In the meantime, I have books that are set in foreign countries.

What are your hopes and goals for the coming year?

Totting Up My Happiness Points

I am a happy lady this Christmas season. I have everything that brings me joy: my friends, my family, my job, my apartment, my relative good health. I have a little vacation. I've made cookie dough, ready to be baked and to be eaten by the handful. (I'm making snickerdoodles, gingersnaps, and chocolate chip cookies for gifts. Recipes are linked! They're all delicious--I've made them all before.) I have many naps to take. I've knit almost all the gifts I'm planning to knit. I've watched a judicious amount of Netflix while knitting. I've made digital family photo albums and sighed over how fast the children grow. I have poem ideas bubbling up like boiling water spitting out of a kettle. I've had a visit from the UPS man bearing a surprise gift, which made my day after I ascertained that the man banging on the metal gate like a madman was not actually a madman, but a man with a lovely package from R. (pretty measuring cups!--thank you, R. I love the Anthropologie aesthetic). I have Nyquil, which allowed me to sleep for eight hours last night without coughing once.

What makes you happy this holiday season?

Photo Booth: Fuchsia

I am wearing my jeggings like they're going out of style, which they very well may be. I don't care. The best part about them is that they don't fall down after I wear them for a few hours.

I love holiday parties and get-togethers. They're much less sweaty than parties at any other time of the year.

Behold, my outfit, my awkward pose, and my friend C.'s lovely Christmas tree:

Shirt: Cynthia Rowley via TJ Maxx; Jeggings: Old Navy; Bracelet: thrifted; Shoes: Nurture 

I am glad I own so many spandex-filled outfits because the holidays are not treating my waistline kindly. Also, cold weather makes me go into torpor and I have no desire to leave my bed to go exercise. I make myself do it anyway, but it is NOT FUN...definitely not as much fun as eating cookies and milk with friends.

Buying Digital Books for Others

I'll be brief here. I found out yesterday that you can buy digital books, to be read on any device (Kindle, Nook, iPad, etc.), for others as a gift! At least you can do that at Barnes and Noble, which is where I found this out. I'm guessing other retailers allow this to happen, too. That's really awesome. So, if you have last-minute holiday shopping to do and you have some e-book lovers in your life, but you don't want to buy them gift cards, you can buy them digital books!

Also, Happy Hanukkah, y'all. May your latkes be crisp, your lights bright, and your family and friends close!

If on a winter's night a draft blows...

...which it will, I want a sweatshirt, sweatpants, and slipper socks to block it out. Bam. Christmas listed.

I have a thing against having the heater on hot all the time at home. Only under freezing conditions will I turn on the heater at bedtime--the comforter, sheets, sweatsuit-and-slipper-sock combo keeps me burrito-warm without my face feeling smothered and chapped by the fake heat. I think a childhood of artificially 80-degree houses and constant haranguing to not walk on the (hot) carpeting barefoot (because it was "cold") in December made me eschew the heater. I will use it if it is the sort of cold where the tip of my nose is cold to the touch.

Otherwise, bring on the supersexy $5 Hanes unisex sweatsuits! They're even hotter when they develop pilling on the thighs. Hello, building-mates! Why, yes, I am doing my laundry in a XXL college t-shirt with a bleach stain near the hem and pilly hot pink sweatpants that are barely hanging onto my butt and rainboots. Don't judge! I'm just trying to stay warm.

This post is brought to you by 49 degree weather, the first hint of a sore throat, and a mug of berry herbal tea.

Book Review: Nine Lives, by Dan Baum

I've been waiting to write this review until the semester ended because I'm pretty sure students around the city were asked to write book reports or reviews on Nine Lives, the current One Book One New Orleans selection. Now I'm free to ramble!

The subtitle to Nine Lives--"Mystery, Magic, Death, and Life in New Orleans"--made me not want to read it at all. I'm wary of any book that connects mystery and especially magic to the city. I guess there's magic here, but I hear the echoes of gunshots (what gun shoots four bullets in a row? I keep hearing it) rather than the echoes of Mardi Gras Indian chants more often than not. I had to get past my presumptions after looking at the cover of the book to find out if it was one of those sickening paeans to New Orleans that glorifies all the quaint things and ignores all the grit, the dysfunction, the unfairness that glues the city together in the 21st century.

Nine Lives is not one of those awful books. Baum, a reporter, interviewed nine New Orleanians and told their stories in this book from their point of view. Some of these citizens--Frank Minyard, longtime coroner, and Joyce Montana, Big Chief Tootie Montana's wife--are more famous than others. I've also heard of Wilbert Rawlins, Jr., band teacher extraordinaire. The others in the book are less known to me. Baum features stories from people across the socioeconomic and racial spectrum, which I appreciate. This isn't just a "look what happened to the poor black people" book, nor is it a "look at what happened to the crooked politicians" book. It is a little more representative of the experiences of the whole city, if I may make that assertion. There's enough grit in this book to stick in your teeth and under your nails.

The book covers the time period between Hurricane Betsy in the 1960s and a little after Hurricane Katrina in the 2000s. Alcohol and music thread their way through everyone's stories, shaping them, dragging them down, buoying them up. Water rushes through all of it, too. It touches everyone and brings the unlikeliest of people together. It also washes some people away, mentally. The story of the police officer was particularly depressing in so many parts.

The most memorable bits of the book are Frank Minyard's vignettes. I had no idea he was such a wacky, multifaceted, kind, determined man. I also had no idea that he was a gynecologist before he was a coroner. I couldn't quite wrap my mind around this trumpet-playing, womanizing gynecologist-turned-coroner.

Some of the Katrina bits get draggy. I do not care to read about Katrina experiences, so this part of the book was less engaging to me than the Betsy, post-Betsy, and pre-Katrina parts.

I would recommend this book if you enjoy nonfiction, especially the anthropological/ethnographic/historical sort of nonfiction. I would not recommend this book if you are still suffering from Katrina fatigue (or I would recommend glossing over the whole 2005/2006 section, since the rest is quite good).

Why Librarians Are Fantastic (A Brief Story)

Before I moved a year ago, I used a different library branch location. I went through a two-week period or so in which I read nothing but novels either set in India and written by Indian authors or set in the U.S. and written by Indian authors. (I like reading about any diaspora in the Americas or about any culture other than my own. Right now, I seem to be on a Haitian/Carribbean African diaspora book marathon.) One of the librarians who worked at that branch, a hennaed British lady, noted this and started recommending more Indian novels and short story collections. Then I moved and started using a branch closer to my new home.

Over the summer, my old branch closed for repairs and the librarians there relocated to my new branch. I was delighted to see my old librarian. She commenced giving me recommendations. Shortly thereafter, the old branch building was fixed and the librarians went back to work there. No more favorite librarian for me!

A couple of weeks ago, I went to my neighborhood library to pick up the books I'd requested. The librarian there said, "I've got the books you requested, and also a librarian at [branch name] sent this book for you, with a note that says, 'I think you'll like this one'?" She gave me a questioning look.

I clapped my hands and said, "Oh, yes! I'll take it." I was so delighted! She remembered me and my love for reading about cultures and moral imperatives in conflict! And my branch location!

Librarians are awesome.

Speaking of librarians, my friends (who love reading, too) gave me a librarian calendar for Christmas.

I do appreciate a calendar filled with handsome men who love reading and libraries, oh yes I do. Mr. January is naked but for a book covering his junk. Ho, ho, ho! I'm putting this up over my desk.

Photo Booth: Golden Girl

I've been wearing clothes, of course, but none of my outfits have been exciting. I couldn't summon the energy to be exciting during the last couple weeks of the semester. Now that I'm on break, I've been rummaging through my closet and mixing things up for my holiday forays and gift exchanges. I've been pairing tops that I wear to work to bottoms I wear out for fun times.

Top: Marshalls, Jeggings: Old Navy, Shoes: Nurture (a Christmas gift from my parents from a few years ago!), Bracelet: Thrifted (Rebirth Consignment in Slidell--it's new and my aunt hipped me to this one), Earrings: grandma's

I wore this outfit out to dinner. It made me feel really chic. Also, stretchy jeans were totally the right choice for a BBQ dinner. Thank goodness for spandex!

Let me just talk about the consignment/thrift scene in Slidell for a moment. It's amazing. Everything in the stores is high quality and is also priced fairly. The lady who runs Rebirth Consignment is super nice and knows her store well; when I went there, she worked on pulling items that she thought would look nice on me. She also worked at the Itsy Bitsy Closet (which I think is still her store?), which is consignment for (really cute) kids' clothes and toys. There are two other consignment stores in Slidell that are amazeballs, but I can't remember the names of them at the moment. In brief, thrifting/consignment shopping on the northshore is immensely satisfying. Whenever I need more clothes (which is not now), I will be shopping across the lake for sure.

Bloggers for Health, Week 8: Discombobulation and Perseverance

I've been so all over the place I forgot to post last Saturday! Bloggers for Health asks what health goals and habits I will take with me into the future.

I will continue to eat well-balanced meals and exercise multiple days per week. Those things make me feel good inside and out. Last week, when I ate chocolate cake every day, I felt pretty dreadful. I know what I need to do to not have a tummyache, to feel good.

I will continue to listen to my body and give it a rest when it needs a rest. This is a challenge because I like to push myself hard, but I don't want to hurt myself, so I must rest.

I will continue to seek out activities that are fun, like dancing. I've been unable to dance, do yoga, or do Pilates for the past month or so because of my shoulder, but I'm on my way to being healed, so I'm hoping that with the new year I'll be back to my Afro-Brazilian dance classes. I think I should be able to do swing dancing without hurting my shoulder, as long as I'm twirled using my right arm, so I may do that during the holidays while my swing-dancing-dynamo friend is in town.

I know I will continue to struggle with eating snacky chocolatey food too much. My one strategy is not keeping it in my apartment. I need a strategy for dealing with it at work. Maybe I will take a brisk walk in the sunlight for a minute, rather than purchasing a crispy, too-expensive candy bar?

I've been eating out far less, which is good for my waistline and for my pocketbook. I cooked fish en papillote for the first time the other day. It was moist and delicious. A few days later, I made up a recipe for oven "fried" chicken involving crushed amaranth flakes. It was moist, salty, and flavorful. The oven is my top kitchen appliance and the cast-iron skillet is my top accessory.

I will make time to write more. I haven't been doing it, but I will. I am determined to write a manuscript by the end of next year. Perhaps I can shoot for one poem per week--52 poems by the end of the year to go along with the ~30 poems I have finished already. I've also got essay ideas floating around my head that I just need to get down on paper. That's what holiday times are for! That, and wearing cute sweaters and giving away lots of hugs. I've been consistent about writing here, which is good.

At the beginning of Bloggers for Health, I mentioned that one of my goals was to lose 10 pounds by Christmas. I lost 6 of those 10 and then gained 3 back. At least I had a net 3 pounds weight loss. That's something, considering I've been banned from any exercise involving my upper body (and swimming was my main calorie-burner) and this past Thanksgiving was extra delicious. I am also coming out of this with more dance, more writing, and the tiniest bit more discipline.

Holiday Crafting: Needles on Fire

Most of my Christmas gifts this year are going to be homemade. I'm doing this because, to me, making gifts imbues them with love. It's easier on me, in many ways. Also, it allows me time to relax and spend time with other people who are making things.

I've been having lovely evenings all week hanging out with my friend V. and working on things. I'm not going to say what she's been making, since her presents may be surprises, but I will say they involve intricate cutting, hand-sewing, and just the right amount of adorableness. I've been working on hats, socks, and a shawl.

The two hats on the left are the Button-Tab Knit Hat (inspired by a Banana Republic hat) not yet bearing buttons because I haven't worked on finishing yet. The black and white one is knit out of Cascade 220 wool yarn. The grey hat and the tan hat are knit from Berroco Comfort, which is made from very soft artificial (vegan, hopefully hypoallergenic) fibers. The hat on the right is the Marsan Watchcap. I'm not saying who they're for in particular, but they are all going to friends.

This shawl is the Simple Yet Effective Shawl knit in fingering weight wool yarns; I don't remember the brands, but I believe they were vintage. I hope my friend likes it!

This sock is still on the needles (clearly). It's taking me a while. It's the Gentleman's Sock pattern from Nancy Bush's Knitting Vintage Socks (a simply beautiful book) knit in different colors of Regia washable wool sock yarn. This is the cuff and part of the leg...I'm not even halfway through the leg yet. This is going to be a long, long sock. The other sock will be in different colors in a different pattern because they are for a young man who lives in a snowy city and wears mismatched socks.

Almost all of this is knit from my stash. I had to go purchase one skein each of the vegan/artificial yarns because just about everything in my stash is made of animal fibers (alpaca, wool, etc.) and vegans/men with careless laundry-washing habits don't do well with animal fibers. I have a ridiculous amount of yarn amassed over the past five years stashed in bins under my bed. I'll be knitting from it for years. When I went to the local knitting store to get the non-animal yarn, the owner was surprised and happy to see me, since I hadn't been in for about a year. I'm trying to not be a hoarder!

I think I'm going to spend my day doing laundry, drinking tea, and knitting until it's time to go out for holiday merriment. Such a nice day...

Update: Shalini of Reading (and Chickens) is doing a holiday donation drive that you can read more about here. Help her to help others!

"the clamor in her heart": On Flirting

Flirting is weird. It is a willful loss of control, an extended moment of looseness, smiles, head-tilts, intimations. Some people have control over when they flirt and how they flirt. I do not. It just happens without any decision-making on my part, usually when it's completely inappropriate. Let's look at a couple of different situations.

Situation #1: I am at a professional happy hour, mixing it up with other young professionals. I am talking to a man my age with a job, all his teeth, a stellar community service record, arm muscles, and a boring and predictable life. I keep my head tilted to the left as I nod to everything the gentleman says, plotting how I am going to get out of this conversation.

I cannot will myself to be charming, even though you are Prince (yawn) Charming.

Situation #2: I am at a karaoke bar, singing my little heart out. Some lithe young guy compliments me on my voice, which I know is b.s. because my voice cracked 362 times during a two-minute song. I smile at him. He smiles at me. My body goes all melty and bendy and I'm tossing my hair everywhere and shimmying around a handsome 24-year-old. 

In fact, I become sort of like the first few minutes of this clip (which you should watch because it is funny and uncomfortable):

(Kristen Wiig is really redeeming herself after that horrible and frightening tiny-hands-lady recurring skit.)

I have no control over the flirting. The rational part of me looks at the flirting part of me and is aghast at the ridiculousness.

Teehee! You're so funny and clever! Tell me more about that thing you're talking about!

Are you serious, Flirty Self? Why could you not have done this with the nice, stage-of-life-appropriate man the other day?

Glitter sparkles fun drinkies boys!!!!

I need to learn how to corral the flirtatiousness and use it for good and not for talking to itinerant adorable musicians and random playboy cads. It's hard not to succumb to the clamor in my heart, though!

*The quote in the title is from East of the Sun by Julia Gregson,  p. 344. This book is allegedly a romance, but it is one of the saddest, least sexy romance novels I have ever read. Maybe this is because it is about British women abroad in India during the 1920s? Civil unrest and the oppression of women are two of the least sexy things ever.

**This post is inspired by Reading (and Chickens). I have started imagining myself as a stick figure when I'm being ridiculous. It makes the ridiculosity of whatever situation I'm in even better. Also, anybody remember Happy Noodle Boy? I love stick figure drawings.

Reducing the Friction in the Kitchen

The holidays are nearly here. Students are wrapping up their semesters (or quarters or trimesters); people are planning on when to take their vacation days. Nearly everyone will be at home more, snuggling underneath blankets with hot beverages and TV on the internet. The kitchen will be bustling with holiday baking and cooking. Just imagining this idyllic scene is giving me the fuzzies.

Cooking and baking can be fun; however, if you're doing it for a long time and in a large volume, it can become exhausting. I've got some tips for keeping things golden in the kitchen department.

• Wear sneakers if you're going to be standing or walking around a lot. I do enjoy being barefoot in the kitchen (har har), but ankle and arch support and cushioning are key to having happy feet at the end of a five-hour long baking and sauteing extravaganza. Also, you will be less likely to slip in spilled water or food if you're wearing sneakers, which have better traction than your bare feet.
• Clean as you go. While the bread or cookies are in the oven, wash dishes (or load the dishwasher). Wipe down the counters whenever you get a chance. Sweep between bouts of cooking. Make somebody help you with this. (Children are good for cleaning!) It will make you feel less crazy and overwhelmed when you are finished with the making of the food.
• If your recipes involve chopping lots of things, use a food processor the day before to get all your chopping/shredding/slicing done. Put your prepared ingredients into reusable containers and stick them in the fridge. Bam--cooking the meal the day of will be so much faster.
• If you're making cookies, make the dough ahead of time, roll it into logs, wrap each one in plastic wrap, then wrap those logs in foil. Label them. Close to baking time, let the logs defrost and slice them into cookie rounds. Bake! You can freeze most cookie and biscuit doughs. (For biscuits, shape the biscuits, then freeze them on a piece of parchment on a cookie sheet. Put the frozen biscuits in a freezer bag and label it.)
• Stackable cooling racks save space when you're cooling cookies, pies, and bread. Also, you can use them to create vertical space for other food prep stuff.
• Don't allow too many people in the kitchen while you're cooking. Hordes of people bumping into me and dirtying dishes when I'm doing my thing makes me irritable (I'm guessing it might do the same for you); feeling irritable (or enraged, depending) does not add to the holiday cheer levels. Tell the other people who live with you (roommates, family) that they should not hang over your shoulder while you cook. To be fair to them, let them know when they can use the kitchen. If you're the chief cook/baker, this will not be unfair to the others in your home who will be benefiting from your labors later.
• You can never have enough butter. Did you know you can freeze butter? You can. Stockpile the butter. It'll come in handy eventually.
• Take time to rest and enjoy the people around you. That's what holidays are about, anyway, in the secular sense (to me). That will give you the energy to sally forth and wreck that kitchen.

I'm compiling mental lists of the cookies I want to make. I'm going to try out some old-fashioned recipes from the Fanny Farmer cookbook this go-round. I'm a little afraid of shortening, but I'm going to have to get over that. My plan is to start making and freezing dough this weekend so that I can bake it all as needed for holiday parties, gift-giving sessions, and so on.

What do you do to keep the craziness level down and the happiness level up during holiday preparations?

Gifts for the Fill-in-the-Blank in Your Life

Many people think other people are hard to shop for. People aren't hard to shop for! Buy people useful things, things that you would love to receive yourself. Beautiful, ordinary, pragmatic things. In case you can't think of those things, I am here to give you suggestions! I've come up with them based on what I think would be awesome for myself and I've broken everything down into categories.

For the Fitness Enthusiasts in Your Life

First, throw out the idea that you will insult your sweaty, adrenaline-filled friends by buying them exercise-related materials. If you know that they work out on the regular, the gift will come off as thoughtful, not as "I thought you were fat, so use this to make yourself less fat."

Some things your fitness enthusiast might enjoy include:

• an iTunes or Amazon (or whatever service he/she uses) gift card for more workout jams
• new, lightweight headphones (plentiful sweat and vigorous flailing-filled workouts bust headphones)
• the expensive kind of athletic socks that really do wick away sweat and don't chafe
• a gift certificate for one session of a new kind of exercise experience (dance class, kickboxing, what have you) in which your friend has expressed interest
• a lightweight metal water bottle that won't break when it is inevitably dropped on the ground multiple times

For the Amateur Cooks in Your Life

Avoid giving the amateur cooks a unitasker, such as a cherry pitter or an apple corer, unless these people have cherry or apple trees in their backyards. Those are annoying and take up space. Cooks like sturdy things that last forever. First, you should find out what sort of thing the cook likes best: oven cooking, stovetop cooking, candy-making, baking, and so on. Then, tailor your shopping to that specialty.

Some things that just about every cook would appreciate include:

• a good chef's knife (also, a good paring knife and good kitchen scissors) with a sheath so that your cook, who does not have a knife block, does not slice his/her fingers to death in the Kitchen Drawer of Jumble and Horror
• pretty, absorbent kitchen towels
• 1- and 2-cup Pyrex containers (for freezing individual portions)
• a gift card to a fancy food store
• an "oven glove"--the sort of plastic oven gloves that can withstand up to 450 degrees of heat

For the Writers in Your Life

Aside from paper and pen, what can you get for the writer that isn't superfluous? Why, you can get the writer things that make the process of writing more pleasant or things that inspire the writer to, well, write. Also, writers are readers, so they'll never turn down a good story or poetry collection.

Some things that may make your writer friend happy include:

•  a collection of loose teas with a tea ball (this is inspired by the tea collection my friend Chris gave me and my roommates a few years ago, which I appreciated so much!) and perhaps a jar of honey, so your writer can suck down cup after cup as he/she deletes and restores the same adjective over and over again
• a subscription to a literary journal or magazine (or several) (such as The Oxford American, my favorite) so that he/she can enjoy some stories, poems, and essays while also assessing the "competition"
• a weekend in-state road trip with you, in which you guys have wacky fun that inspires her to write a story about a wild turkey/cowboy attack (this idea is totally copyrighted, y'all--it's pure brilliance)
• a book from your local independent bookstore, preferably by a new, unknown author (support the book lovers who open those stores and your fellow writers!)
• a flash drive, so they can back all their work up (I received flash drives as gifts from two different people in two different years--such awesome gifts!)

For the People who Enjoy Warm, Snuggly Things in Your Life

This is my catch-all category. There are certain things that just about everyone likes, and they like them even more when they are homemade. Homemade items are noted below.

•  homemade cookies OR homemade cookie dough, frozen in a log to be defrosted, sliced, and baked at a later time
• knit, crocheted, or home-sewn goods (in particular, hats, scarves, and gloves/mittens)
• hot cocoa mix (can be homemade)
• a hot beverage travel mug (RIP, blue-and-white polka-dotted ceramic travel mug. I hardly knew ye)
• slipper socks (don't hate; they're amazing when it's cold)
• a pretty afghan (the operative word here is "pretty")
• a homemade cookbook full of tested-and-approved-by-you recipes

For the Teachers in Your Life

Teachers: they don't get no respect. However, they may get gifts that help them to fight the good fight against ignorance!

Show some love to the teachers in your life by giving them something like:

• a 60-count package of purple, hot pink, or green pens (because red pens hurt students' feelings) so they can comment to their hearts' and aching fingers' delight
• multiple bottles of aspirin/Excedrin Migraine/Tums
• a Long Day Survival Kit for the teacher's office/desk, including boxed natural juices, individual bags of nuts/trail mix, those fancy healthy chips, and peanut butter crackers (or something nut-free like...chocolate)
• a night out on the town on a Saturday, but start at like 6, because he/she will start nodding off at about 8:45
• a hug and a kind word (but not just that...maybe include a bottle of wine with this)

I hope this list has helped you with your holiday gift-giving. Basically, everyone likes things that are practical and usable. I once gave a friend Tums in her Christmas stocking; she treasured them.

Photo Booth: The Beauty of the Ball

I felt so glamorous and shiny last night. Behold the purple and the rhinestones!

I fussed with my hair for hours and finally decided to part it on the side and sort of roll it up on both sides, then did a twisted inside-out ponytail with what was left. It looks oldey-timey, which was my goal.

The glamour is all courtesy of my aunt, who picked everything out, lent me jewelry, and did my makeup. The photo, among other things, is courtesy of my uncle, who is an excellent videographer and photographer. (The blurriness of the face, as always, is courtesy of iPhoto's "retouch" feature.)

Most of the songs the band played at the ball were slow, but when they started up with the fast songs--with the Teena Marie and the second line music--I got up and danced.

I would go to a ball again if I had a date. It's boring to sit down for multiple songs due to not having a date/slow dancing partner. I was entertained by silently judging other people's outfits, though!

Bloggers for Health, Week 7: Adjustments

The past few weeks have been all about me making adjustments. The most serious adjustments have been to the expectations I hold for myself. I can't expect myself to give 100% to everything all the time. Coming to this realization has taken down the anxiety a few notches.

Regarding my workouts, since my shoulder became inflamed, I've had to stop doing anything that involves my upper body. The doctor says it's fine if I do ab work, so I've modified my ab exercises. Before, I did planks and other Pilates stuff; now, I'm back to high school  P.E.-style arms-crossed-over-chest crunches and reverse crunches. These aren't as hard as Pilates-based moves. I feel like I'm slowly growing flabby in the middle.

After all the holiday ham was gone, I ate salads, cabbage with brown rice, and fruit for lunch all week. I had fish with veg or eggs with veg for dinner every night. That helped to balance out the insane amounts of butter I ate during the holiday. My weight has actually remained static throughout the holiday season; I'm surprised. (Four more pounds to go for my ten pounds by Christmas goal!)

During the first half of the week, I was such a crab. I think moving my body has become an essential component of my daily happiness plan. As of this past Thursday, I'm back to working out five days a week. I've been using the elliptical, walking, using leg/thigh weights, and doing squats, lunges, and crunches--all lower-body stuff. Moving and sweating has improved my mood immensely.

I have not been journaling, but I have been consistent about writing on here. I love how writing here forces me to be focused and brief...well, brief for me, not brief for the internet. I think about what I'm going to write in here while I'm driving around on my errands, or during the ten minutes between waking up and getting out of bed to get started with my day. This is a space I look forward to visiting (mostly because of you all!). Feeling like I'm writing to people makes me a more careful writer, even though I don't revise these entries much before posting them.

Connecting with all the family I don't see regularly has been the best, most happiness-bringing part of my week. Dancing with my aunt and uncle last night at the ball was one of the highlights. The other highlight happened when I went by their house earlier this week and I overheard the babies saying, "I like her!" (about me) from another room. Aww! Being a part of something does wonders for my happiness levels.

Bloggers for Health asks if it's a good idea to change up your workouts from time to time. I say that it is good to change up everything from time to time; otherwise, you get into a rut and whatever you're doing becomes less satisfying. Rather than staying at home every night this week, I visited family and went to a ball--my first! Rather than weights-cardio-weights-cardio, I've done whatever felt good at the time on the days when I felt good enough to do it. All of this is refreshing.

You know how the muscles in your butt and thighs jump and twitch after you've power-walked for about an hour or so? That's how breaking a routine feels--enlivening and random.

To find out more about Bloggers for Health, visit Endear and Unladylike

Do High Heels and Straight Hair A Fancy Lady Make?

 I am not very fancy. I wear my hair natural--wild and curly. I rarely wear makeup; when I do, I feel like I'm in costume as "A Normal Girl." Also, I inevitably wipe eyeliner or lipstick across my face. My glasses are big and dark-rimmed. (I wear them so I can see, to quote an MPDG. My eyes are too dry to wear contacts and I have thick prescription lenses--a totally uncute reason for being twee with the glasses.) I wear skirts, yes, but the length of them hovers somewhere around my knees. No thigh for you! I wear flat shoes with padding and arch support; heels cripple me with pain. I'm like a black Daria Morgendorffer, the antithesis of glamour.

I do love glamour, despite all my impediments and sartorial proclivities. I like colors and shiny things. I've always wanted to go to a ball and be pretty, but no one has ever invited me.

Last weekend, my aunt and uncle invited me to go to a ball with them.As this will be my first ball, I don't have any of the accoutrements. I don't really know what I'm supposed to look like, aside from vague memories of blurred black-and-white pictures from the society pages of the newspaper. Also, I feel like I always pick out inappropriate outfits for special situations (like that time I bought a shiny spandex dress to wear to church Easter Sunday in ninth grade...boy, was my mother mad). I'm like the before in She's All That.

When I voiced my worries, my aunt said, "Don't worry, girl. I'm going to take care of it," and promptly went out to buy me a gown. She also gathered up some sparkling, large earrings and a matching necklace to go with everything. After she made sure I had makeup already, she sent me out the door with an "I'm so excited!"

She came to meet me at work a few days later with the shoes and bracelet. "I do wish we could have gotten you in some heels," she sighed.

I said (something like), "Well, I would be hobbled all night if I wore them, so this is for the best, even if it's not glamorous. I wonder if I should get my hair flatironed. It takes so long..." I was crumbling against upper-crust African-American society's expectations of what a black woman should look like. I even felt guilty about catering to the health of my feet.

My aunt backed up my concern about Society's Expectations with, "Oh, that's what your uncle was saying. He thought it would be dressier. I told him that it took too long and we want you to be happy, so you just rock your natural self. I'll look for a sparkly comb." She backed me up there, in the end.

Why is it that straightened hair is considered more fancy, more professional, more adult? Why do high heels equal fanciness and womanliness (at least, comely young womanliness)? Why can't women be comfortable and beautiful at the same time? Why is that only for little girls and men?

It's going to be for me, too. I am going to go out on the ballroom floor and twirl around with handsome gentleman, trailing my purple gown on the floor, holding the skirt up to reveal my dressy black slippers. I will be wearing makeup and shiny baubles and I will be my version of fancy.